..moving on..

Mood: ...
Music: Case' Missing You (bedtime remix), Dreamsounds

...i rmmber jst now, how d simplest of ur gestures cn mke me so giddy,, i used 2 shudder in anticipation of hearing ur voice, literally speakng,, nd wen u txt me, it ws lyk nothing else mattered-at all,, my friends even used 2 tease me bout it,, dey told me dey cn alwys tell wen u snd me a txt mssge, since my face automatically lights up wen i see ur nme appear on d screen,, i cn vaguely rmmber d kilig feeling, bt i knw dat it felt lyk my insides were turning 2 mush, my muscles were dissolving in electricity, nd butterflies were hammering against my throat,, i know, dey don't sound 2 good in print, bt dey r, in actuality, d best feelings in d world,, i rmmbr, still quite vividly, hw d mere memory of ur laugh ws enough 2 mke me smile, nd hw d mere sound of ur voice hd bin enuf 2 brighten up d drkest of my days,, i rmmbr looking 4wrd 2 wking up evry morning, bcoz i knew it wud b anoder day 2 communicate wid u,, somehw, deep down, i knew i ws falling 4 u,, somehow, however, i tried 2 bury dem 2 d deepest recesses of my heart in d hope of vanquishing dem forever,, i rmmbr quite well how u told me, countless of times, hw mch u loved me,, u asked me once y i liked u. nd i told u, "Because you make me happy,," nd u knw wat? u rily did,, u made me happy, in a way dat i nvr thought i could evr b,, i thank u 4 dat,, maybe i'll nvr 4get u,, maybe i'll nvr live dwn d fact dat i had u-but i let u go,, was it dat, or was it dat i had you, but i did not work hard, did not fight hard enuf 2 make u stay? i dnt knw,, i don't want 2 think, nd i don't believe dat now is d tym 2 rationalize bout these things,, because d truth of the matter is, u're gone,, i cn't help but wonder, once in a while, how u're doin, i wonder if u're happy, or if some lucky creature is mking u happy,, i wonder if you still think of me, or even just rmmber dat i exist,, becoz i think of u,, evry single day, against my will, against my better judgment,, i've fooled myself long enuf 2 believe dat u're not important in my lyf, not essential 2 my existence. i'm tired of my own masquerade,, i just want 2 acknowledge d fact dat yes, u have touched my life, even if i have acknowledged dis 2 l8,, i wish u cud see me now,, i believe i cn safely say dat i'm a much better prson now dan I was b4,, i used 2 believe dat wen u lose sum1, u'll get a chnce 2 meet dem again,, i used 2 believe in second chances,, losing you has taught me dat der r no second chances in life,, wen u meet some1, nd u r given dat chance 2 change their lives, u have 2 tke hold of dat opportunity, bcoz dat is d only chance u've got,, u hav ur chance, nd dat's it.,, u hav 2 make d most out of it, nd den let go wen it's time,, people come nd go, nd you hav 2 live wid it,, i constantly hav 2 remind myself dat u've done ur part in my life,, u taught me d lesson u came 2 teach, so u hav 2 leave,, i hav 2 move on,,